When I grew up, dad used to discipline me for staring down on complete strangers walking by saying “ነዉር ነዉ”. In retrospect, I found my conduct pardonable given the curiosity of childhood. Growing old and meeting up fellow Ethiopians in different cities, however, I think we should reflect on the Ethiopian gaze. This is more so among the Diaspora where Ethiopians facing you in some western city take a zoomed out shot at you. And as you get closer to where they stand or walk, they ignore you as if they have not seen you and appear occupied with something else. The gaze throws you off guard since you know that they saw you and figured you out as a fellow Habesha.
Now the onus is on you to solve this riddle: “should you say hi or avoid them altogether?!” And before you make up your mind, they give you another “I have seen you compadre!” glance.

I always wonder if this ambivalent and pensive visual exchange, which never involves words, is an Ethiopian value in itself. Or is it ambivalence that Ethiopians find themselves in trying to reconcile their home grown norms of greeting everyone, including strangers with western values of greeting? Back home; people nod, wish you peace, or ask you how your evening has been when meeting you. In Ethiopia, passing by without greeting a bystander leaves a very eerie feel and a bad taste in the mouth of anyone.

Here we are locked into the western style of living, travelling and moving about where random conversation with strangers is such an endangered species. People wake up, plug in their earphones on their ipods communing with a stream of music or images while commuting to work or any place else. Others fiddle with their blackberries, laptops or palmtops oblivious to what is going inside the train, the plane, the bus or the walkway. Still others are steeped in reading newspapers, magazines, novels etc. In short, public space use is atomized, privatized and impersonalized. Here, humans prefer to interact with machines and technologies much better than throwing a glance.

The Ethiopian gaze therefore comes as an ‘alien’ cultural practice imported from afar but not abandoned altogether. Think about it; isn’t ambivalence the very word that typifies Ethiopia’s encounter with the west? While it relishes the material well being of the west, it is adamant to present itself as an ancient civilization, never colonized by western powers, and proud of its heritage and identity. The ambivalence stands out in this contradiction to imbibe and welcome the economic benefits of western civilization while refusing to challenge, critique or if need be alter, the values, belief systems and practices that modernity demands.

But there is more to ambivalence in the Ethiopian gaze, it is surveillance par excellence! Ethiopians are one strange breed of people who dress up in their Sunday bests to enjoy a night out but seldom do so! All that people do is squat on small tables in groups of 4 to 5 friends gazing at each other, whispering upon whoever is sitting or standing by. And most of all, people’s eyes are fixated on the main entrance. We gaze relentlessly surveying who is in and who is out! There is an intense interest on the part of strangers to know who you are, where you come from and what you do. But instead of coming upfront and striking a conversation, we prefer to gaze. They stare you down till you smell like smoked salmon. No wonder people rarely dance, speak out or speak loud in front of a crowd. That gaze is a virtual sniper, one which disciplines the little adventure you have under your belt.

The act of gazing down and disciplining is much stronger among Ethiopian women who are constantly monitored. I really pity my Ethiopian sisters whose gait, gesture, talk or look is always under surveillance not only by curious men but also by envious women! A girl who wants to dance with some random jolly guy will be shot down over and over again by friends who do not think it’s a good idea. The visual firework among Ethiopian sororities is staggering! This is more the case if they have some bad blood. Would this be the reason why Ethiopians love to speak of “the evil eye”? It could be a metaphysical metaphor for the apprehension and penalty one gets, sadly, for appearing.

Still, there is more to the Ethiopian gaze no matter how ambivalent, pensive or monitoring it is. We prefer it more than a truckload of words and conversation. Remember, the old saying “ነገር በአይን ይገባል!” Remember the legends of fresh Habesha boys who fall in love but would have to endure those long, heart-wrenching episodes of eye contacts and gaze. It takes lot courage to break that and take the first step to walk over and say “hellowww!” For some reason, Ethiopians love that phase of longing, suffering and suspense. Melkamu Tebeje’s ዕረ መላ ምቱ and Sisay Nigussi’s “ሰመመን” typify how we venerate gaze. Yet again, we ridicule those who have fallen for it. A country bumpkin in that phase is mocked by friends, class mates, and neighbors. People will tell you, “የ አይን ፍቅር ይዞታል!” The versatile Addis Ababans would say “ሳይት ላቭ ቀጭሞት ነዉ!” But hey, this is not only about young and the restless. It is about every age bracket. Ethiopians do value gaze and countenance than words.

When I grew up, dad used to discipline me for staring down on complete strangers walking by saying “ነዉር ነዉ”. In retrospect, I found my conduct pardonable given the curiosity of childhood. Growing old and meeting up fellow Ethiopians in different cities, however, I think we should reflect on the Ethiopian gaze. This is more so among the Diaspora where Ethiopians facing you in some western city take a zoomed out shot at you. And as you get closer to where they stand or walk, they ignore you as if they have not seen you and appear occupied with something else. The gaze throws you off guard since you know that they saw you and figured you out as a fellow Habesha.
Now the onus is on you to solve this riddle: “should you say hi or avoid them altogether?!” And before you make up your mind, they give you another “I have seen you compadre!” glance.

I always wonder if this ambivalent and pensive visual exchange, which never involves words, is an Ethiopian value in itself. Or is it ambivalence that Ethiopians find themselves in trying to reconcile their home grown norms of greeting everyone, including strangers with western values of greeting? Back home; people nod, wish you peace, or ask you how your evening has been when meeting you. In Ethiopia, passing by without greeting a bystander leaves a very eerie feel and a bad taste in the mouth of anyone.

Here we are locked into the western style of living, travelling and moving about where random conversation with strangers is such an endangered species. People wake up, plug in their earphones on their ipods communing with a stream of music or images while commuting to work or any place else. Others fiddle with their blackberries, laptops or palmtops oblivious to what is going inside the train, the plane, the bus or the walkway. Still others are steeped in reading newspapers, magazines, novels etc. In short, public space use is atomized, privatized and impersonalized. Here, humans prefer to interact with machines and technologies much better than throwing a glance.

The Ethiopian gaze therefore comes as an ‘alien’ cultural practice imported from afar but not abandoned altogether. Think about it; isn’t ambivalence the very word that typifies Ethiopia’s encounter with the west? While it relishes the material well being of the west, it is adamant to present itself as an ancient civilization, never colonized by western powers, and proud of its heritage and identity. The ambivalence stands out in this contradiction to imbibe and welcome the economic benefits of western civilization while refusing to challenge, critique or if need be alter, the values, belief systems and practices that modernity demands.

But there is more to ambivalence in the Ethiopian gaze, it is surveillance par excellence! Ethiopians are one strange breed of people who dress up in their Sunday bests to enjoy a night out but seldom do so! All that people do is squat on small tables in groups of 4 to 5 friends gazing at each other, whispering upon whoever is sitting or standing by. And most of all, people’s eyes are fixated on the main entrance. We gaze relentlessly surveying who is in and who is out! There is an intense interest on the part of strangers to know who you are, where you come from and what you do. But instead of coming upfront and striking a conversation, we prefer to gaze. They stare you down till you smell like smoked salmon. No wonder people rarely dance, speak out or speak loud in front of a crowd. That gaze is a virtual sniper, one which disciplines the little adventure you have under your belt.

The act of gazing down and disciplining is much stronger among Ethiopian women who are constantly monitored. I really pity my Ethiopian sisters whose gait, gesture, talk or look is always under surveillance not only by curious men but also by envious women! A girl who wants to dance with some random jolly guy will be shot down over and over again by friends who do not think it’s a good idea. The visual firework among Ethiopian sororities is staggering! This is more the case if they have some bad blood. Would this be the reason why Ethiopians love to speak of “the evil eye”? It could be a metaphysical metaphor for the apprehension and penalty one gets, sadly, for appearing.

Still, there is more to the Ethiopian gaze no matter how ambivalent, pensive or monitoring it is. We prefer it more than a truckload of words and conversation. Remember, the old saying “ነገር በአይን ይገባል!” Remember the legends of fresh Habesha boys who fall in love but would have to endure those long, heart-wrenching episodes of eye contacts and gaze. It takes lot courage to break that and take the first step to walk over and say “hellowww!” For some reason, Ethiopians love that phase of longing, suffering and suspense. Melkamu Tebeje’s ዕረ መላ ምቱ and Sisay Nigussi’s “ሰመመን” typify how we venerate gaze. Yet again, we ridicule those who have fallen for it. A country bumpkin in that phase is mocked by friends, class mates, and neighbors. People will tell you, “የ አይን ፍቅር ይዞታል!” The versatile Addis Ababans would say “ሳይት ላቭ ቀጭሞት ነዉ!” But hey, this is not only about young and the restless. It is about every age bracket. Ethiopians do value gaze and countenance than words.